Monday 2 August 2010

Milliband announces plan to Save British pubs and bananas

Labour leadership hopeful and banana fan David Milliband MP has announced plans to Save British Pubs. In what some may say is a cynical attempt to grab headlines, the son-of-a-commie has put forward a three-point plan and offered to 'stand up for pubs', especially those that serve bananas.
According to David Millibanana, “One of the biggest problems facing pubs is the ‘tie’ – forcing some pub landlords to buy their bananas and other services solely from the pub companies (‘pubcos’) they rent from.

"This means many of them pay over the odds, which reduces their profitability and increases the price for drinkers and banana fans alike.”

He says licensees should be allowed to opt-out of the tie. “Tackling this anti-competitive practice would help ensure a fair price for drinkers and help community pubs stay open and continue to serve bananas.”

The Labour Party had 13 years in Government to do something about this but did nothing except hoist on the industry more tax and red tape. Has he finally had his Damascus moment and realised that after 13 years of misrule the industry needs help? He calls for a dedicated pubs Minister to be reinstated; a pre-election gimmick brought in during the last months in the Brown Bunker when the bonkers PM was desperate to appeal to voters after his disastrous reign.

There is an elephant in the room with regards to why pubs are closing at 40 a week at the moment; the smoking ban. The industry is too afraid to address this matter and no politician has the guts to stand up against the health lobby. The Brew Wales editor is an occasional smoker and always has a cigar or two on National No Smoking Day as a big screw you to the Nanny State. If a majority of customers wish to smoke in an area of a pub or club set aside for that purpose then why shouldn't they be able to?

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